Disillusionment

When and how do you tell a child that Santa is not real? Jason and I have had this discussion many times. We have taken the advice of my mother which is, let them figure out for themselves. So the past two years as my two oldest have started to 'figure things out,' we have been waiting for it to 'click' in their little heads.

The other night as I was nursing the baby, and Jason was getting the other kids into bed, Glenn, my oldest came into my room. He was very perplexed and asked, "Mom, could you explain to me how Santa Claus fits into the whole Plan of Salvation and stuff?" "OK," I thought, here we go. I can't lie about doctrine! But there is something that just makes it SO hard to come out and say to a trusting child, "Santa is NOT real, I've been lying to you your whole life."

First I said, "You'll understand it when you're older." He asked, "Do you understand it?" "Yes." I replied, "I understand it." He looked so sad and confused. He hates to not understand things. I decided to help him along with some clues. "Well, Glenn Santa Claus WAS a real person, and then made a Saint. You have to be dead to be made a Saint.... Santa lives on in our hearts and minds as part of the magic of Christmas. Do you understand what I'm saying?" He looked at me with Big eyes and said, "Yeah, Santa is MAGIC."

"Uh, no Glenn... That's not what I'm saying." He looked even more confused. I had no choice, he's 11 years old. All his friends know. I had to tell him. "Glenn, he's not real." He had a stunned look on his face as it all began to make sense to him. I could see a million questions in his eyes. His first question, "So, does Lance know?" (That's the mean boy across the street)

"Yeah, he knows."

"I've been made a fool."

"I know, I'm so sorry about that."

"Christmas is gonna really be boring now."

"No, it's not. I'm the one who puts the presents under the tree, and bites into the cookies. And I still am in Awe when I come out Christmas morning. It will still be So exciting. I promise. And now you can really focus more on the birth of Christ also, now that you are growing up."

"Oh, yeah, OK. I see what you're saying mom. What about the people at the mall?" I guessed he was talking about all the 'Santa's helpers.'

"Those are regular people who like to help make Christmas magical."

"How did you know all these years what we wanted from Santa? Did you just listen when we told Santa?"

"Uh, yeah, you guys have always told me what you wanted from Santa. Except this last year, in an effort to prove that Santa was not real, Lily refused to tell me what she asked Santa for. I totally guessed and totally got it right. I was lucky."

"Wow, mom, that is lucky."

"Now you have to be a protector of the secret, so you don't ruin the magic of it for your younger siblings."

"Yeah, that's cool." There was silence for a bit, as he sat thinking some more, then he asked, "Does Cameron know?" (His friend Cameron Budge)

"Yeah, Cameron knows too. His parents told him this last Christmas." Then, I thought just to be clear, I should tell the whole truth. "So, you know this means that the Easter Bunny and the Tooth fairy aren't real either."

"What?! ... oh... I guess that makes sense. What about the carrots?" (The kids like to leave a carrot by each door to see which doors the Easter Bunny uses.)

"Dad and I bite the carrots."

"Oh."
Jason came in about that point and was so glad that I've finally told him the truth. Jason has been wanting to tell him. It was me who was putting it off. I now officially have a pre-teen. I really am lucky that he lasted as long as he did. As always, he's blazing the trail and I know it will be no time at all before I am 'telling the truth' to the others.