Expectations and Guilt

I do not like whiner's.  I am trying really hard to not be a whiner and complainer.

Sorry to say this post is going to be kind of whiny.

If you know me well, and are close to me, you know that I have been feeling irrational, emotional and slightly crazed.  I even called my mom a few weeks ago concerning a situation because I honestly didn't know if I was overreacting, or if I was justified in how I felt.

When I had baby number 3 my mom gave me some great advice. She has 7 children herself, so she is full of great advice.  She told me to have NO Expectations.  Do not expect to shower every day.  Do not expect to have a clean house.  Do not expect to have dinner made every night.  

This was great advice.  It really did help me.  I was able to let things go, in order to keep my sanity.

She told me to do the 'No Expectations' thing for at least a year after baby number 3 was born.

If you your expectations are low, or non-existent, than it's really hard to fail.

I realized this evening, after a really long day, that I should start following that advice once again.  I need to lower my expectations.  I need to eliminate my expectations.

I had a very good and productive day yesterday.  My children were so well behaved, and I got so much done.  I had so much energy.  There is a pattern, and I should've known that for the next two days at least I would be wiped out, overwhelmed, tired and overly emotional.

The problem is after having such a great day, last night I went to bed with high expectations for today.

I totally set myself up for failure.

This is General Conference weekend and Jason was working.  When Jason finally got home at 9 o'clock, and saw that I was so upset, he asked if I tried to watch both sessions of conference with five kids.  I said that yes I did.  He responded with, "Well, that would've ruined my day too."

What I expected                                          What Really Happened
Pancakes for breakfast.                                   Cereal Instead.

Clean my bathroom.                                         Never Happened.

                     

Change my sheets.                                            Never Happened.

Kids would watch Conference with me.          Only the older two 
                                                                      tried.

Make lunch, Sticky Buns and Sunday Dinner    I fell asleep on the 
                                                                         couch.

               

The kids would Sustain the Prophet with me.    3 out of 5 preferred 
                                                                      to wrestle instead.

Make a yummy Dinner and Relax          I put Lily in charge, took a 
                                                            shower, then fell asleep.

I ended up making PB&J for dinner at 7:30, which is bed time for little boys.

This afternoon I told my mom how guilty I feel.  She scolded me.  I always make Sticky Buns aka Sticky Bums, for General Conference Sunday morning breakfast.  Tomorrow my children will most likely be upset to wake up and find .... nothing.  It's hard to not feel guilt.  I expect this of me, they expect this of me.  

Time to let the expectations and the guilt GO!

Now for some really sweet stuff.  The kids and I watched the movie HOP for the first time yesterday.  There is an army of Rabbits called the "Pink Beret's" in the movie.  I woke up this morning at 8:15 with Max in my face.  In a hushed, excited voice he told me, "Glenn and I are pretending we're the Pink Berets, and we are cleaning the whole house for you!"  I think the whole idea was Maxwell's.  Glenn sat in his room reading while Max ran around the house cleaning.  He actually accomplished a lot of work!  He Swiffered the main living area and all the stairs.  He cleaned the whole family room really well.  He sorted the laundry.  It was really awesome!

The other really sweet thing today - 

Glenn and I cuddled up and watched the whole afternoon session together.

I know that is simple, but I loved every minute of it.